|Leben aus dem Sein|
WAS IST SO GENAU MEINS?
Warum tun wir uns so schwer damit, das Leben zu benennen, das wir führen wollen? Warum wissen wir nicht (mehr), was unsere tiefsten Wünsche an dieses Leben sind? Und was kann uns dabei helfen, genau das auszugraben?
Vorweg: ich persönlich glaube nicht, dass für jeden Menschen EIN durchgehender, geradliniger Lebensweg, schnurstracks ohne Schnörkel existieren muss. Erst aus einer höheren Perspektive vermögen wir oft zu erkennen, wie unsere Zeitlinie - mit all ihren Kurven und Kreuzungen, Abzweigungen, vermeintlichen Umwegen, Bergen und Tälern sich ihren Weg bahnt wie ein Fluss zum Meer. Nur eines scheint gewiss: zum Meer fließt er, der Fluss. (Das Meer zu definieren ist aber ein anderes Thema
Es gibt natürlich Menschen, die - ohne Umwege und Verirrungen, kontinuierlich ihr Ding durchziehen (der schottische Fischer, von dem ich gleich erzählen werde, Mozart, Hermann Mayer, meine Schwester u.v.m.). Und die dabei glücklich sind (die meisten jedenfalls). Und es gibt Menschen, deren Lebensweg wie ein Mäander zu fließen scheint. Mal die Kurve, mal jene Wendung. Aber - zumindest, was mich angeht - es kristallisiert sich bei eingehender Betrachtung doch ein großes Grundthema heraus. Wie in einer Symphonie, mal spielen die Geigen das Thema, mal das Klavier, mal die Bratschen. Und es kann variieren. Aber es zieht sich durch.
Und - zurück zum Fluss: die Kurven bereichern, statt abzulenken. Nur wenn wir den Flusslauf künstlich regulieren, um ein Kraftwerk zu machen oder Geldverkehr zu ermöglichen, dann wirds oft problematisch.
Kaum ein Fluss denkt sich: "Ooch, ich stau mich jetzt mal ein bisschen auf, dann kann ich nachher dafür viel Strom-Gebühren kassieren." Oder denkt sich: "Uups, da gehts den Berg runter, nein, ich kehr mal lieber um und fließ schön im Flachen, ich muss doch noch dieses und jenes." Nix da, Yuppiee und runter damit! Und dabei noch viel Gischt und darin noch ein Regenbogen, wenn die Sonne scheint.
Gut, nicht alles, was hinkt, ist ein Vergleich. Aber oft
Warum tun wir uns oft so schwer zu benennen, wie wir leben wollen?
Dazu fällt mir die Geschichte von einem schottischen Fischer ein (aus "BBC-Coast"). Denn "obwohl" - würden viele bei uns vielleicht sagen - obwohl seine Vorfahren alle Fischer waren, wollte er schon als Kind Fischer werden und nichts anderes. Und er ist glücklich, Fischer zu sein. Er liebt die Küste und das Meer und seine Arbeit, auch wenn es manchmal weniger gut läuft. Er bewundert jeden Tag aufs Neue die Schönheit der Landschaft, das Licht, die Berge, die Klippen und die Farben des Meeres. Es entdeckt jeden Tag etwas anderes. Dort oben in Schottland, abgeschieden von Fernsehern und Großstädten gelingt es ihm, abseits der Reizüberflutung, Dinge zu sehen und zu beachten, die täglich in ihrer ganzen Schönheit direkt vor seiner Nase sind.
Können wir das? Wie oft hören wir - auch uns selbst - sagen: "Ich seh das ja gar nicht mehr." - Abgestumpft? Abgelenkt?
Wie sehr sind wir von unserem inneren Bestreben, unseren Vorhaben, Träumen und Zielen durch all das, was uns von den Generationen, von den Medien, vom "Fortschritt" so serviert wird, abgelenkt?
Was Erfolg ist, was "man haben muss", was schön ist - wie viel davon definieren wir wirklich noch aus uns selbst heraus, wieviel davon wird für uns definiert und wir übernehmen es, ohne es zu merken?
Unsere Welt ist so schnell, laut und grell geworden und dabei so subtil - nicht im positiven Sinn des Wortes - so tricky in den Wegen, auf denen die Botschaften zu uns kommen: was Glück verspricht, was unsere Bedürfnisse sein sollen. Und diese leise, innere Stimme wird immer schwerer zu hören. Die, die uns sagen will, wo wir eigentlich hin wollen, wollten.
Nimm ein großes Glas Wasser. Und eine kleine Phiole mit roter Farbe. Oder blauer oder gelber, egal. Und dann tropfe immer wieder ein bisschen Farbe in das Wasser. Mit der Zeit wird auch das Wasser diese Farbe angenommen haben. Wenn das lange genug so geht, erinnerst Du Dich vielleicht gar nicht mehr, wie das reine Wasser ausgesehen hat, vorher, ursprünglich.
Unsere tiefsten Wünsche sind das klare Wasser. Und alles, was wir je gesagt bekommen haben, gehört haben, alles, was rundum an "so-ist-es-super"-Botschaften auf uns rieselt, trifft und nebenher einwirkt, ist diese Farbe.
Was könnte uns helfen, das Wasser wieder zu klären?
Radikaler Ansatz: Fernseher weg, Zeitungen weg, Menschen genau aussuchen, mit denen ich meine Zeit verbringe.
Wann war das Wasser noch klar? Wann haben wir es noch gewusst, gekannt, gefühlt?
Was ist dann passiert? Woher kam der Glaube, dass es SO nicht gehen soll? Nicht passt? Und dann wichtige Frage: wohin nicht passt? Wo ist der Glaube hin gekommen, dass das klare Wasser sehr wohl das richtige ist und passt?
Woher kam die Farbe - und was davon kann ich beibehalten, weil es bereichert, weil es für mich immer noch gültig ist - jetzt - und was ist von außen rein getropft und nicht meines?
Wie weit kann es uns gelingen, uns abzugrenzen vom geistigen Müll rund um uns? Gut. Vom offensichtlichen, leicht erkennbaren Müll gelingt es gut. Was aber mit dem "hübsch verpackten"?
Was kann dabei helfen, unser innerstes Streben zu entdecken, wieder zu entdecken?
Abgesehen von - weniger Medien, mehr selber denken vielleicht - die Frage:
(Zum Beispiel): Was habe ich als Kind schon immer gemacht und dabei völlig die Zeit vergessen? Wobei bin ich so richtig selbstvergessen im "Flow" gewesen? Wovon hab ich immer gesprochen? Was hab ich immer gerne freiwillig und von Stunde zu Stunde mit wachsender Begeisterung gemacht?
Erinnern wir uns. Und wenn herauskommt, dass das überhaupt nicht mehr gültig ist für uns, das, wovon wir als Kind gesprochen haben - was ist dann? Nun, dann gibt es sicher später etwas, was uns ins Fließen gebracht hat, etwas, wobei unsere Augen zu glänzen begonnen haben (und ich meine jetzt nicht den Sex).
Aufs Herz hören, immer wieder: aufs Herz hören.
Kurz gesagt: such - nein: horch auf das, was deine Augen auf Hochglanz poliert. Und dann siebe alle "Abers" aus. Die Ausreden ins Töpfchen, die Fremd-Wertigkeiten, Urteile und Schablonen überhaupt gleich ins Klo. Nur die konstruktiven Einwürfe dürfen bleiben, die letztendlich vorwärts führen auf Deinem ureigenen Weg.
Manchmal ist auch die kleine Frage hilfreich: Wer sagt das?
Auch bei allem, was hier jetzt so zu lesen war: wer sagt denn das wieder?
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